Suddenly, and with the wise help of Woody Allen, I had found the answer of my awful and melancholic existentialism. First of all, there's an undeniable truth: We all suffer from a void inherent to the existence itself. Yes, that void that makes you feel sad, alone and insecure. That same void that keep you looking for something. The same void that doesn't let you feel fully satisfied. That same void inside us that we're so desperately looking to fill.
But, that lovely void is the only thing that gives life a reason; that gives life a purpose. Ask this to yourself: Would you be getting off out of the bed each morning if you feel so happy and fulfilled and with nothing else to look for? Of course not. We all love to sleep. My point is that the same thing that makes us sad and incomplete is the same thing that makes life worthy and gives a purpose.
I have found myself all my life looking desperately for love. Looking to find someone to love me in an act of validation of what I think I am and what I need from somebody else to validate trough her love. Being so sure that this void on me can be filled with the purest and biggest feeling in the world. Sounds logical and simple. But I was mistaking the emotions. I heard it from Hemingway (sort of) passion is the thing that makes the existence bearable, for one moment you are so lost in it that you're not afraid to die, and comes a moment of equality and respect in where you're not empty anymore. This moment he was (sort of) referring to, was the passion a man shares with a woman. For sure I can swear it's the most passion-able moment in a gentlemen's life; but it is also the less lasting. Passions can be found in many places. Your work,your profession, your hobby, your country, your ideas, your everything you feel exited about and makes you incredibly happy just to do it, there's where you passions are. Remember the last time you did it. The last time you completed a painting, the last time you performed in front of many people; the last time you written something worthy. You can even feel again that immense feeling all over your chest, that feeling that puts a silly smile on your face, that feeling so close to be in love. The only difference is, that with this feeling, you are doing actually something. Something that will last, for you, and for the other people around. And if you passion is big enough, maybe, it will remain for the people when you're gone. So give passion to your lady every night, and give to your passion all your life.
